Friday, October 24, 2008
Assignment 7
Even though I have gone through several versions of my digitalstory script, I still think it is lacking. I'm not the best writer...I tend to dwell on ideas and dance around the focus. Therefore; I really need some feedback from my group on how I can improve my script and make it more streamlined to have a greater impact. Again, let me state that my script is VERY ROUGH and I have a long way to go. It is running about 6 minutes and 20 seconds right now so I know that I need to cut some and condense, but I'm just not sure where to begin. I feel like I've been working on it for so many weeks now that I'm going cross-eyed every time I look at it. HELP!!!!
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3 comments:
It's an interesting subject.
I'm assuming that you will have more than one slide for each of your numbered items. The photos/illustrations will help with explanations so you may be able to streamline the narration and let the slides do a lot of the work visually for you. You might want to cut back on introductory phrases and descriptors and use strong action verbs for the descriptive element. I look forward to seeing the end result!
Wow! Incredibly informative, and very interesting for those of us who dork out on childern's literature. I agree with Teresa that it looks like you're going to allow the pictures the brunt of the work. However, I do think you could add some spice to the voice of the piece. Yes, your voice will be playing, but to add to the overall creativity of the presentation, I think you should add some voice to the writing with some figurative language and more informal speech. For example, when you're talking about the 3-D images, you could say "they pop out without the glasses"; or when talking about Sabuda, you could say "he came on the scene and was as ubiquitous as Santa on Christmas Eve." Anyhoo, these are just examples of how to make the writing a little less formal, and "stiff." Hope this helps.
Hi, Shaunna. Hope you don't mind me commenting. I couldn't help it - I love pop-up books so I wanted to see what you were doing! One suggestion I have that ties in a little with what Matt said about adding some voice - maybe in your introduction you could tell a little more about what drew you to look at pop-up books in the first place. I know you state that in order to appreciate the existing we must first understand the past, but that doesn't tell me what drew you to it. Then as you begin condensing and cutting some material you can find out what you need to cut in order to make room for that small addition. I LOVE your section on "find out more" and how you cite research showing that using pop-up books can lead to better retention. I hope you are going to include that somehow because it really provides a purpose and rationale for using them with students. I LOVED reading this and can't wait to see the completed project!
Margaret
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